Blessed.

Here in the South, we overuse the word "bless." "Bless her heart" to the girl with the too short skirt. "Bless his heart" to the sweet chubby cheeks of a toddler. "Bless this food" for every meal. And on and on it goes. But as I sit down to write this blog post, I can't seem to think of a more fitting word for my life: I am so blessed. I am constantly asking for blessings of the Lord. And boy, am I trying to be a blessing.
Let me give you a few details: First of all, it's summer, a blessing for all teachers. I'm enjoying some time off and spending my days nannying a tiny girl. She's as sweet as pie, and I love playing mommy. I finished the spring semester as strong as I could, and I'm spending lots of time rethinking my classroom and my strategies as a teacher as the baby and I enjoy babbling sessions and naptime.
I'm living in a lovely new apartment with the perfect roommate. I'm not even joking; she's incredible. Kate's....well, Kate's giving and kind and loving and she just understands me. We have way too much fun together, and spend many hours at the pool, chatting and reading aloud to each other from our respective books. (Her pick? "Captivating." Mine? "The Happiness Project." I recommend them both!) We also spend more time talking into the wee hours of the morning, and usually end up crashing mid-sentence. She is a gift from the Lord, I am certain. Our apartment truly looks like home, and I'm sure eventually I'll get my act together and make my room look that way too.
Another major change has been the Lord's direction to a new church home. Though I loved my years at Englewood, the Spirit was very clear a few months ago that I needed to follow Him. So, I gave up my comfortable seat in the pew, and sat in a metal chair one Sunday afternoon at City Fellowship. My heart was immediately warmed, and my soul nourished by the songs, preaching, and sweet communion. I'm still settling in there, but I truly adore City, and I'm excited to discover more of why the Lord has brought me to this sweet family.
As far as asking for blessings, I've been clinging to the Cross and asking for some specific things, especially in the area of spiritual growth. We are going through the fruit of the Spirit at church, and I see the buds of those fruits...but I want to see more in my life. I'm eager to see how the Lord can change my heart into His heart.
I'm also asking for some serious direction in my life, especially in the area of jobs and happiness in that area. I know that the Lord has a perfect plan for me, and I am dying to see it. This last semester was very lonely and very hard. Honestly, I've completely avoided anything to do with teaching this summer because I was so turned off to it. But I know that He will renew my love for His calling on my life and He will draw me close as I prepare for another school year.
Genuinely, I'm also asking for the blessing of a family. Not another one to be adopted by, rather I want to start my own. My heart is longing for all of the joys of the future, and I often find myself chatting that up with the Father.
I won't brag about being a blessing, but I will say that I particularly have enjoyed using my sewing talents this summer to make sweet little baby blankets for newly born and adopted ones. I'm also getting to use my henna skills a lot more which is so fun and rewarding.

All that to say, I'm blessed. I'm happily awaiting more blessings. I'm learning to be a blessing.
It's a good life.

It's the 'too' that matters.

We all have pet peeves. One of my roommates can't stand when the sink is so full that she can't fill up the Brita pitcher. Another friend hates when her socks get wet from someone spilling water on the floor. My dear friend can't stand it when people smack when they eat. (And I tend to agree. That noise is terrible.) I personally can't handle it when someone enters a room and changes everything-the temperature, the music, the general atmosphere.
But I've recently discovered that I have the complete opposite of pet peeves. I guess you could call them my favorite things, but they aren't really fitting into the raindrops on roses category. They are deeper than girls is white dresses with blue satin sashes or apple strudel. These things are the ones that make my heart sing and make my eyes twinkle. They can turn the late nights of loneliness into nights where I snuggle into my nest and sigh out of happiness. What are these things? There are too many to name...but I'll give you the one of the moment.
Favorite thing of the Moment: Getting to say "I love you too."
I know it sounds simple, but that 'too' means the world to me. When I get to say that, it means that the other person thought of the love first. It means that they think I'm worthy of hearing it. It means that someone sees me and loves me.
When I was a little girl, I used to pray that my parents would say "I love you" first, only because I wanted to say the 'too.' It's the 'too' that matters. It sounds like a silly prayer, but the days that the Lord answered that prayer are ones that I still remember, fifteen years later.
I have this one dear friend who is really good at giving me this joy. Anytime we are parting ways, she takes the time to pause, look me in the eye, and say "I love you." Do I deserve this? Oh definitely not. But is it something I adore about her? Yes. Does the song in my heart get louder every single time? Yes.
It truly is the little things. The moments that other people don't see as important are the ones that bring me the most joy. She probably doesn't think much of that moment of looking me in the eye and loving me, but that is what screams friendship to me. And it's that moment of joy that causes me to realize how blessed I am...to know her, to be here, to have friends who love me.
Even in the times where I feel like I'm a complete mess, I'm loved by this one and others...and that's where the joy is.

Feels like home.

There are simply some close friendships that feel like home. Some are old and routine. Some are new and exciting. All of them force me to see how blessed I am. Some days, I spend hours alone, chatting with the Lord and baking something new. Some days, I spend my afternoon doing homework and chatting with an old friend as she bakes cookies. Some days, I spend my evening with a newer friend, talking and laughing about nothing and everything. Somehow, it all fits together. Somehow all of these friends fit together into this crazy plan the Lord has for me...and I am encouraged. Though often the days seem endless and the nights pointless, it's the moments of truth with these friends that remind me of who I am and Whose I am. This place-here in the middle of child and grown-up, smack dab in the center of His will, surrounded by His grace-it's where I belong. And these times of hope and purpose, even in the midst of the overwhelming sense of too much to do, are what keep me going.