I'll just be honest. I don't grieve. Seriously.
My grandfather who I greatly admired and loved passed away. Nothing.
My boyfriend who happened to be one of my best friends broke up with me. Nada.
My father lost his job and our family's security. Zilch.
A girl who I thought loved me told me to get out of her life. Zero.
And I am okay with that.
I understand that it is not always the healthiest thing for me. I know that I should let things out. Trust me---I've heard it all. And, I am beginning to let it out. There are much much bigger things in my life that I am beginning to share with specific people in the hope that it will help. And it already has. Having someone at school who knows what all is going on in my head has made a huge difference and I am blessed to have a friend who can handle it and is willing to love on me.
But...some days...I just wish I would...or could...cry. Like, seriously lay it all out and cry it all out. I frustrate myself with how strong I force myself to be. Some days, I want to stop my determination to be so strong and start being a weak little girl.
I just want to stop and cry my little girl tears.