as i sit on my own couch, in my own home, with the christmas tree glowing, i can't help but think back. back past these last two christmases. back past high school. back past middle school. back to the christmastime of my childhood.
the memories all tend to run on top of each other. all i know is that christmas meant happy. there was little to no fighting. there was nothing to dislike about christmas. there was only joy.
i remember laying under the tree and looking up at the lights, turning my head from side to side and looking for my favorite ornaments.
i remember finding the stack of christmas books, piling them up, and carrying them to my bed so that i could read for hours.
i remember my mom making fudge and letting me lick the bowl.
i remember steven curtis chapman's christmas cd being played constantly, especially when we put up the tree.
i remember making graham cracker houses and making myself sick on the icing.
i remember my dad talking about the christmas story and how important it really is.
i remember acting as mary and my sisters dancing as angels....and us coaxing andrew to be a sheep.
i remember getting new copies of my favorite book, and reading them as if it was the first time. (little women never goes out of style.)
i remember when i first learned to play carols on the piano.
but, above all, i remember the first time i realized that Christmas was for me. that His coming was a gift for me. that "i'm so unworthy, and still You love me."
the wonders of His love will never cease to amaze me.
take a moment and just stand in wonder.
it'll change your day.