There. I said it. It's out.
I am completely and thoroughly impatient in many areas constantly. But this week in particular, I've been clawing at the floors of Heaven, trying to get God on board with my plans, and get things going in the "right" direction. It's hilarious that I think I have a good idea at all. But just wait. It gets even funnier.
I've been making my list, presenting it to the Lord, and feeling it bounce off the ceiling and into my lap.
"First of all, this whole teaching thing, Lord. I mean, I love kids...but I don't know why you want me in this. Do you even remember last semester, Jesus? It was so not fun. What if this semester is the same? What if I really am bad at this? Also why am I in Jackson if I can't find my niche in a classroom? And while we are on the topic of Jackson, God, shouldn't there be a husband here for me? I mean...I've got a great idea for one, but You haven't really told him that yet, so I'm still waiting. Do you see how old I am? 23! And I'm not getting any younger down here. So, are you going to work on that? Oh and what about my friendships? Shouldn't this be different? Shouldn't that be better?"
And on and on I go.
On Friday, I was reading Galatians 5:16-26, the passage we are working through at City. As I thought through the fruit of the Spirit, I realized something. "Let's see, love was Pastor Russ. Jordan was obviously joy. Kyle preached on peace. So, this week..." That's right. This week's sermon was on PATIENCE. From Friday on, I knew that I was going to get my butt kicked at church today. I dragged my heels getting there today. Sitting in the pew, I could feel it coming. Matthew Marshall started preaching...and it was nothing like I expected. I expected this sermon on how to be patient like the Lord. But instead, this was about how to be patient FOR the Lord. Prophetic patience, if you will. For as my hope is in the Lord, so should my eyes be on Him. Not on my current struggles or worries or pains, but on the prophesied Coming of the King. I should be patient in knowing that He is coming, and He will make the wrongs right. He will wipe every tear from every eye, and He will set the captives free. How much bigger is His plan to do all these things than to rescue me from my tiny worries!
So, though I know He is completely concerned with me and my needs and my cares, I instead choose to love the Lord by putting my hand on the plow and trusting that He indeed lives and will come again.
I don't know about you, but the time that my worries overtake me are usually nighttime. I'm very vulnerable to the lies of the devil when I am tired and alone. Today, we sang a song that completely changed my perspective on the night. I hope that by hearing these truths, you, dear reader, will be reminded of the Truth of the Gospel, and be assured that though your nights be dark, our Hope still lives on.
Listen to this song, and be reminded of the peace and hope we hold.