Friday, January 1, 2010


What a year. Looking back, I am relieved that it is over. There was stress and drama that I was so not prepared for, but I also look back with joy as I see how much the Lord has grown me. Let's look back at what I've learned.

I've learned that absence truly does make the heart grow fonder. Time away from those you love reminds you of how much you love them. From my first J Term to my First summer, I learned that the ties between my friends and I are stronger than anything I've ever felt. From just being at school, especially when sick, I learned that there is nothing like having your mama and your family to take care of you.

I've learned that it is okay to love your friends as much as you love your family. It is alright to have your heart ache when you are away from your best friends. I've learned these things, but also how to deal with the ache through the Lord and through Skype.

I've learned that being in college does not mean that there will not be drama. I've learned that some girls are still in a middle school mindset, though they attend college with me. I've learned that Union student is not necessarily equal to Christian. I've learned that "the Gospel is offensive, and that's a-okay."

I've learned how to survive the swine flu. I've learned that not being able to walk makes it hard to go to the bathroom. I've learned that having a best friend who adores you equals popsicles, Chikfila, and company when you're sick. I've learned that I have the best roommates and best friends in the world because they won't leave me alone, even if I am deathly ill and super contagious.

I've learned that while LIFE Groups is fun and rewarding, it's also a lot harder than it looks. It's not all fun and games and it's definitely not all about you. I've learned that it's okay to annoy a girl to get her to hang out with you, and I've learned that the annoyance is totally worth it when they open up to you. I've learned that God prevails when humans fail. I've also learned that a community of fun-loving, Gospel-obsessed college students is probably the best thing to ever get involved in.

I've learned that egg rolls are pretty dang fun to make, there is always someone who will cuddle with you, and certain websites can make Ruth and I fall on the floor laughing. I've also learned that Ruth and I are made for a friendship, even if she never brings me Moes and all the fishies die.

I've learned that God will provide. No matter what. His will happens. Period. Be it a trip to Colorado or a semester of college, if He wants me there, I will be there. I believe I will continue to learn this lesson, but this year showed me this on multiple occasions. It was scary, but worthwhile.

I've learned that the past may be the past, but I must acknowledge the reality of it. I've learned that telling my best friends about it may be the hardest thing I've ever done in my whole life, but it may also be the most relieving thing I've ever done too. I've learned that nothing phases my Lindsey and my Natalie. Nothing.

I've learned that the Word is alive. More than ever, I've learned that His Word is active in my heart, if I will only bury myself in it. I've learned that He speaks through the most random passages. I've learned to never doubt that I will learn. Don't believe me? Try Job 28.

I've learned that I love kids and want a lot of my own. Okay, I already knew that. I've learned that while my two best friends don't understand my huge longing for children, they respect it and I appreciate that a lot. I've also learned that I am going to have to wait for those children, as I am not dating now and don't plan to for a while. I've learned that focusing is hard enough without a boy in my life.

I've learned that I can make some pretty rockin grades, even after being sick three times. I've learned that I can put people first as long as I realize what I'm sacrificing. I've learned that Saturdays are great for catching up on sleep. I've learned that if I tell Abbie and Cassie to call me whenever, they will do it! And it is wonderful.

I've learned that life is short. I've learned that love does not keep people alive. I've learned that I was blessed to know and be impacted by Miss Margarita. I've learned that grieving is a long and hard process, and it's not over. I've learned that my friends love me and want to help with grief.

I've learned that I must write. I must write in my journal. I must write on my blog. I must write letters to my friends. I must write in Lindsey and mine's journal. I must write everything down. I must write to Jesus. I must.

I've learned that Lindsey Marie Bock is completely different from me. I've learned that I can trust her with anything. I've learned that she cares about me more than she can say. I've learned that there is beauty in our differences. I've learned that praying with a best friend is the most humbling and compelling thing ever. I've learned that compromise is the way to go. I've learned that asking for hugs is totally worth it. I've learned that we are equally gorgeous and equally broken. I've learned that I can love more than I originally thought.

I've learned that Natalie Therese Huth is a surprise best friend. I've learned that God's surprises are the best. I've learned that she needs a protector and so do I. I've learned that two best friends are better than one. I've learned that Natalie will always listen to me ramble, even if it doesn't make sense. I've learned that she is willing to hold me while I cry. I've learned that she trusts me so much that she lets me cut her hair. I've learned that sin is sin and sharing it means you can pray for each other. I've learned that I'll never stop learning from my girls. I've learned that I will never ever completely lose them. Ever.

Above all, I have learned that I am a treasure. Not only to the Savior of the world, but to people. I have learned that Christ loves me and so do these girls. I have learned that I am loved. I am prayed for. I am treasured. I forget it often, but trust me. There is always Someone who is willing to remind me.

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